I've forgotten my password

Established 1890 | Affiliated to British Rowing and CSSC


Current Safety Notices

Hamhaugh Island Fire Safety Training
28th September 2019

Fulham Football Ground Works (Updated)
22nd July 2019

Chiswick Pier navigation
10th July 2019

PLA Notices to Mariners - Upper River Notices

U2 of 2020
Upper District - Oxford and Cambridge University - Pre-Boat Race Fixtures

U1 of 2020
Barn Elms Reach to Mortlake Reach - Lightweight University Boat Races

U22 of 2019
Mortlake to Barn Elms Reach - River Closures - 2019-20 Head of the River Races

Sink or swim

5th October 2002

"And you thought The Tideway was bad"
Neil Pickford (with a very small nod to Robert Service), October 2002

The Cygnet III crew, went out on the Rhine,
In a shiny blue Benrath Boat.
With a cox in the bow and a cox sat at 2,
And novice at 3 and at stroke.

Now your man Alan Cox, the cunning old fox,
Was given permission to steer.
So a full Cygnet crew, well what else can you do?
But spend Friday night out on the beer.

The race went OK, with a brief stop halfway,
To sort out a wobbly rigger.
The boat stayed bone dry, though Lord only knows why,
As the waves got increasingly bigger.

So now, close to the end and around the last bend,
Another boat hove into sight.
The Cygnets were faster, they caught and then passed her,
As they pushed on for home with delight.

The beer tent was calling, but the swell was appalling,
With a hundred yards left of the race.
Then a huge bow wave hit and Alan said "S**t!"
As the Rhine hit him in full in the face.

With the stern under water, they thought that they oughta,
Try to battle on over the swell.
But the bows pointing skyward, this poor piece of plywood,
Didn't stand a cat's chance in hell.

The second wave struck and Alan said "F**k!"
"I think that we're going to sink"
And true to his word, she sunk like a turd,
As the crew floundered around in the drink.

On the bank the crowd's laugh turned into a gasp,
As a large barge bore down on the five.
Then everyone cheered as the lifeboat appeared
And hauled them aboard, still alive.

Amazing but true for our well moistened crew,
Is that they'd drifted down over the line.
So it wasn't a waste, they completed the race,
Although they didn't quite conquer the Rhine.

Back to Rhine Marathon page

  • DSCF0006.jpg
  • DSCF0009.jpg
  • DSCF0001.jpg
  • DSCF0010.jpg
  • DSCF0012.jpg
  • DSCF0020.jpg
  • DSCF0006.jpg
  • DSCF0009.jpg
  • DSCF0001.jpg
  • DSCF0010.jpg
  • DSCF0012.jpg
  • DSCF0020.jpg

Powered by Conceptulise CMS